The Center

How easy it is to lose sight of what is important - or more accurately - Who is important.
I have been discouraged of late. Feeling sad and without purpose in the every day moments of life.
How can folding laundry have any eternal value?
I spent the better part of Tuesday throwing a lovely pity party. Here I am, living my dreams and I can't seem to get it together. I am discouraged by blogs of women that "have it together" that are crafty, that are organized, that have big ideas and hundreds of followers.
Yet even through my thunder cloud of selfish pouting, I heard the sweet whisper of my Savior.
I AM enough. I Am your God. I know the plans I have for you.
I learned last week that in Revelation when the throne room of God is described, and all the beings around His throne are described, what is mentioned fist is where they are in relation to the throne of God. Where we are, either flat on our face in front of the throne, or running fast as we can away from it, is of utmost importance. And it is part of our description.
He is always, always on that throne and is the center of heaven and earth.
All creatures on Heaven and earth know that their center, their very core, is their Creator, God.
And yet the very species that He fashioned with His hands, the very ones that He calls to and came to save...we, men and women, are the ones that struggle most to realize this truth. We so badly want to be the center, to be in charge.
And we just aren't.
God doesn't call me to big and wonderful things. At least not as the world sees them. He, for now, calls me to fold laundry, because it's important to serve my family.
He calls me to re-learn how to cook according to my family's allergies and needs, because it's my job, for now, to care for them this way.
He calls me to play with my girls, vacuum their rooms, wipe their bums and be patient with them as they learn to live.
He is working on this hard heart of mine. He is shaping it, molding it. Holding it in His hands until the warmth and light of Who He is softens this hard heart of stone into flesh.
I'm not sure I know how to express what I'm trying to say.
Yesterday I woke up refreshed and was able to be on time for our Bible study. Oh what a gift God has given me to find solid teaching, straight from His word, and a teacher that is faithful to speak the Truth! He is faithful, even when I am not. He loves, even when I don't.
And when I have a day of angry thoughts and grumbling, He doesn't strike me dead, as He well has the right to do!
Even more, through my grumbling on Tuesday, He loved me and gently prodded me to continue with the mundane jobs He had for me. I wanted to sit on teh couch, watch garbage and raid the girls' pumpkin pails. Instead, I folded laundry, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms and made dinner. In the morning when I was rested and ready to listen to Him instead of myself, I was given grace to praise Him in a clean house, despite my thoughts of the day before.
He is gracious. He is King. He is Savior.
I read of a blogger who takes this month to be Thankful each day and journal about it in preparation for not only Thanksgiving, but the season of Advent to follow. What better way to prepare our hearts to be aware of all He's done for us than to be thankful each day?
So today, I am thankful for:
A husband who cares enough to let me sleep in the night when a little ones wakes up.
A daughter that is full of sass and also of love.
A daughter that is eating more. Oh what that does for a Mommy's heart. Thank you God.
Scripture to read and touch and pour over. Out in the open. Not in secret. How many others in this world long for this privilege I often take for granted!
A just right cup of coffee sweetly delivered to me this morning by a man who cares.
My Mom coming for a brief visit. In just under 3 hours I will be hugging her tight and breathing in the scent of "Red Door".
A God Who is mighty, loving and patient.
How about you?