I have an issue with pride.
A big one.
Pride gets the better of me so often. Fortunately, God created me with a bit of a sensitive heart (sometimes this is a weakness as well as a strength) and I usually am convicted and am able to swallow my pride and ask for forgiveness of any I have offended.
Then there is the pride that is only offensive to God and damaging to myself.
I have been praying lately for God to show me where I am prideful in this way and to help me overcome it.
I was shocked when He answered so quickly with my attitude toward grocery shopping.
Yep, grocery shopping.
Seriously?
In ways, it's good to be "good" at shopping. I save money, don't waste much and can feed my family. In other ways, it's bad because I take all the credit for feeding my family.
I wouldn't have a single morsel to put on their plate without my hard working husband and my ever-gracious Lord.
Now that we've confirmed Fo's many food allergies and began to think that many of Dic's stomach issues have to do with dairy and gluten, my prideful world has been turned on it's head.
Last night our family went to the grocery store rumored to have the best selection of allergy and gluten free foods. It's also one of the more expensive stores in our area.
Fancy, classy people shop there.
As we made our way through the store, brainstorming about what we can still make that is familiar to us and attempting to think of new meals on the spot, I began to get discouraged and cranky.
Funny how while being humbled, Miss Cranky waltzes right in to join the party.
Dic had to pull me close at one point and gently remind me that this will take time to get used to, our budget will be adjusted and the important thing is, this week, we could cover it. I relaxed a bit until we hit checkout.
Egads! We spent more than half of our regular monthly food budget!
And here is where pride is being dealt with for me:
One month I fed my family on $20.00 a week. I am so proud of that. If you know me at all, I've probably mentioned it. Something I forget about that tight month is how we ate mostly processed foods, baked potatoes and lots of spaghetti. And that my parents showed up in the middle of the month with a car load of meat from Costco.
I remember how humbled and relieved I was that day. But that part rarely makes the story.
It seems God wants me to remember.
I do not feed my family well; He does.
He does not expect me to feed my family on such a tight budget; I do.
So as we adjust and rewrite the budget and learn new recipes, I am comforted knowing that this isn't punishment; it's life.
And God humbles me because He loves me. I am no good to Him, anyone else or myself as a prideful grocery shopper.
And on a very positive note: this fancy store? It has the best carts for kids!
And a massive coffee and creamer selection.
Bring on the humility, Lord!
4 comments:
Praying for you and your fam as you adjust to your new shopping, and that God will provide for your needs and get the glory! I too like to steal the glory for myself when I shop and budget our family well, but it's truly the Lord who provides!
came over from "the other denise's blog" (as i like to refer to her).
i eat a lot of humble pie because pride too is something i struggle with.
c.s. lewis says "pride is spiritual cancer." i've been in "remission" for 6 years.
i feel the pride come on when we do our biweekly shopping at the inexpensive, ugly, bag'm yourself grocery store. i've walked into the wholefoods just to see what it would be like to purchase $9 lb asparagus.
instead every time i'm bag'n up my bargain groceries i choose gratefulness, and i say "thank you for all this food Jesus." then i look to my right an my left, and i pray for God to provide for the other families too, for God to be their God,and for them to live in the fullness of his love.
I love how God teaches us through the ordinary everyday stuff. Like grocery shopping.
Or driving.
I have to swallow my pride every time I get into one of our cars. They're old and not cool at all. But then I remember that I'm blessed even to have a car; something most people in the world do not have.
Pride is ugly and (sadly) so familiar to me. But God is gracious and patient.
Oy! Gluten AND Dairy!!? Ouch. All I can say is, have you thought about gardening? But then you'll struggle with being proud that you are so self sufficient--this I know, because this I do! I am always keeping an eye out for dairy & gluten free recipes because I like to cook for friends with both allergies. How about eggs? Are they in or out?
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