Cried Just a Bit

I'm a ridiculously sensitive person. My Dad has always said that often a person's strength is also their weakness. That's definitely true with me. I think I am sensitive in good ways: I love people and although I make many mistakes in relationships, I think I am sensitive to others' perspectives and feelings. I am also a big wussy about stuff. When I was younger I would throw away an apple after only a few bites so that a homeless person digging through the trash would find an extra special gift...I learned early on that it's really better to just give the whole apple, void of banana peels and old gum wrappers stuck to it.
I wouldn't throw away scraps of paper, though, because i was convinced that one scrap would feel rejected for being thrown away. I still have a tough time throwing things away. Not because I feel sorry for the items being tossed...that would be crazy...ha...ha...ha. Sigh.
Anyway. I would also get very upset when my parents would get a new car or something. I would cry and cry over the car being traded in. I might have even sat in the car while the deal was being made and rubbed it's upholstery, whispering words of comfort and sympathy.
As I've grown, I still feel a twinge when items of mine are sold or traded in. Now it's not so much because I feel guilty for the object that is, in fact, just an object with no feelings. It's because I attach so many memories to things. We have these big, fluffy, soft, squishy couches. We bought them when I was pregnant with Raegan and have loved them ever since. I feel awful whenever we have company because usually someone gets stuck in them or has an awkward time getting up from them. Really, there is no grace involved. Once you're in them, you are stuck. Richard and I sat on them at the furniture store to discuss another piece of furniture and fell in love. A few days later, while I was at work, he stayed up late after his graveyard shift and bought the couches to surprise me.
So when we sold them two days ago I might have cried a bit.
Our greatest financial goal is to be debt free and to be generous with our money once we don't owe it to anyone else. I firmly believe that it's not our money - it's God's. He provides it. Unfortunately, we were very unwise in our first year of marriage and promised it to other people so we could have stuff before we could afford stuff. So now we are working our tails off to make things right. We were given an opportunity to pay off our credit card debt in a matter of months instead of years. But the catch is to come up with a lot of cash in a very short amount of time. First thing to go? Our lovely couches. A very lovely young couple came for them.
I might have wanted to snap a few photos of the new owners.
I held myself back.
I might have cried a bit when they were carted out.

No biggie. My mom's friend had a couch that she wanted to get rid of and had offered us a few weeks ago. Plus i had one from my single days that has been in our bonus room. We brought that downstairs, then Dad and Richard went to retrieve the new couch. They brought in the cushions and I might have cried a bit.
I laughed, too.

As you can see, we have a lovely white blanket to keep the fabric nice and retro. As I sniffled and shrugged and tried to not care what my living room looked like compared to how it looked just hours before the 70s marched in, Richard wrapped his arms around me and reminded me of our goals. And then he said something I've never heard my husband say:
"God is taking care of us. He's working and doing something here. Let's trust Him."
My husband loves God, but he's pretty quiet about his faith. Truth be told, I think for the first time in his life he is being called to faith. To step out and commit and not just go along with the Sunday crowd. Those words he whispered are exactly what I have been praying for him to believe for a long time. I've also been praying over our finances. That we would be free from them. Faithful with the results. And what looked bleak at first is now bursting with exciting possibilities. A tidal wave is crashing toward us that will carry us to debt free living within a year as opposed to three. Soon our only debt will be our house and I really consider that an investment. That, my husband's new faith and these gems:


are worth having to cry just a bit.
Raegan has been such a character lately. She was supposed to be napping the other day and I heard her making some funny noises. I walked in her room and just laughed and laughed. She was wearing a onsie and had taken the top part off and could not figure out how to fix it. She is just so cute ;)
Harper is becoming more alert and more aware every day. She is figuring out smiling and it is so cute to watch. I love when they graduate from sleeping smiles and gas smiles and give you that full-on-right-back-at-ya smile. Takes my breath away!