Do you ever have a lesson pounded into your head over and over? Something God really wants you to get and you ignore Him repeatedly until He blasts you over the head with it and you have to pay attention?
Sigh. This week there were two lessons that popped up all over the place. And two that I defiantly and purposefully ignored.
So He taught me two lessons in one shot.
The subjects?
1. Do not judge. You have no authority or room to. Let Me take care of things.
2. Life is unpredictable. You are not in control and therefore cannot prevent everything you fear. You have to trust Me.
The lesson?
We had dinner at my parents' house last night (it's one of the few places I have felt comfortable going to with the girls so far - in fact, yesterday was the first time I've taken the girls anywhere alone. Baby steps!). Before dinner, Harper and I were playing on the computer (shocking!) and Raegan was playing with my dad. Or so I thought.
Richard wandered into the computer room looking for Rae. I told him that she was with my dad.
"I hear her calling for me," he muttered to himself and started looking in closets and such.
Unconcerned and perhaps annoyed that he didn't believe me, I turned my attention back to the computer.
Soon, I heard knocking on the front door.
Who's here? I wondered.
Then I realized they were awfully tiny knocks I was hearing. Raegan size knocks.
I turned to see Richard opening the door for her...and my parents standing in the dining room together.
RAEGAN WAS ON THE FRONT PORCH ALONE!!!!
Panic. Lots of panic. Millions of scenarios raced through my mind. Lots of inaudible words tumbled from my mouth as Raegan stumbled into the house with a worried look on her face.
Apparently she can open -and shut- doors now.
How is this a lesson? First, my judging has come mainly in the form of watching other parents. Be they on tv, in the grocery store...whatever. I make assumptions and grand declarations that put me on the pedestal and them in the pit. And the more I felt God nudging me to knock it off, the more I gossiped.
It seems I'm such a great parent that I don't even notice when my 21 month old daughter locks herself outside and calls for help.
I'll take that Mother of the Year Award now...
Second, I have convinced myself that bad things won't happen to us because I'm aware of our surroundings (ha!) and will be able to prevent them.
Our house won't burn down because I know it can. So it won't. (This one makes no sense, I know)
Raegan won't ever be hurt or taken or any of those things we parents worry about because I won't let her be in a position for those things to happen.
Right.
Enter last night's little moment.
It happened so fast. Granted she stayed right on the porch and knocked her way back in.
But.
Things could have been different.
The wrong person could have noticed her standing there alone.
Shudder.
She could have taken her adventure a little further and wandered right into the street at the exact moment a huge truck -
Shudder. Gasp!
Those things could have happened.
But they didn't.
My mom pointed out, in my panicked, rambling state: God knew. He was watching. He saw her slip outside.
He stood with her on the porch.
He (probably) smiled as she knocked on the door and called out: "Daddy!" in that cute way she does.
He was watching. He was in control.
Not me.
And while I will be more diligent and more aware of my daughter's abilities and independence, I will also (Try) to be more aware of God's goodness and presence.
Of His Will, not mine.
Of His right to judge.
Not mine.
And the fact that what I have been judging all week...I just joined those I've been thrashing to bits with my own tongue.
Oops. Blush.
"All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:7-12
Ouch. Ok, Lord. I'm listening. And with Your help, I will strive to do better.
2 comments:
Sorry. I really should proofread BEFORE I hit that publish button. What I meant to say was:
I used to bad-mouth those moms you'd see on America's Funniest Home Videos who had just come in the room to find that their precious child had just painted the entire room (or couch or dog) with make-up or chocolate syrup or something. I'd always wonder out loud, "Just how long did she leave them alone for them to be able to do that?" I don't say things like that anymore. It takes about 2.7 seconds.
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