November 9th

Once I came home from Seaside, Richard and I became serious pretty quickly. His parents moved to another state and drove through our town on their way. They stopped for a few hours and we all shared breakfast and Richard’s dad helped him fix his car that had just broken down. We all got along great and I was even more settled into our relationship.
When Richard graduated from Academy, his parents and I got to spend even more time together. His dad is a retired police officer and it was incredibly touching to see the unspoken communication between them that entire day. I found out much later that Richard took his parents ring shopping with him that weekend.
The weekend of his graduation began two new jobs for me. I loved the Boys and Girls Club and Starbucks, but was not making any money. And I was working almost every day, most days from 4 in the morning until 8 at night. I was tired and poor and overwhelmed. Richard was tired of not seeing me once he started to patrol. I went back to banking the week before graduation and started working for a dog walking company. My job with the dog place was to dog-sit while clients were away. I stayed in fancy houses and wrestled with playful dogs. It was a great way to earn a little extra money. Richard loves dogs more than anyone I’ve ever met, so he loved to visit.
My first morning after my first night, I was headed to work and backed up right over a sprinkler head in this super fancy, schmancy yard. I had a fountain on my hands and called my boss in a frenzy. The next time I stayed at that client’s house, an expensive mug slipped out of my hands while I was cleaning it and my boss had to make a run to Pottery Barn to replace it. That client mysteriously moved soon after that! HA!!!
Those bosses were wonderful. The first time Richard was truly on his own in the police car, I had to run to their house to pick up keys to a house and I was really nervous. My bosses (a sweet married couple my age) were out on their front porch playing their guitars and singing (they are now in Portland making records and performed a few songs at our wedding – they are amazing!) and could tell I was not myself. The wife, Hannah, took me inside and we prayed together for Richard’s safety. We then had a very important conversation about fear. The conclusion was that I needed to decide right there in her living room how I was going to allow myself to feel about Richard’s job. I could not go on in fear and apprehension every time he was at work. God has really honored my prayers and choice to trust Richard to Him. I can’t say there aren’t moments that I fear, but they are few and God usually taps my shoulder and reminds me to hand Richard back over.


November 9, 2005.
“Darn it!” I muttered under my breath and ran over to the sink to soak my grease-splattered hand in cold water. After a few minutes, the pain subsided and I examined my hand carefully. Bright red splotches now covered the back of my left hand and fingers.
“Hope Richard doesn’t decide to propose today,” I joked with myself and turned back to my pathetic attempt at breakfast.
For the last few weeks I had become increasingly aware of what an amazing cook Richard was and how equally awful I was. I had never cared before. In fact I had often joked that I planned to marry a man that could cook because that was the only way my kids would have decent meals. But the more serious Richard and I became, the more domesticity came pouring out of me. My roommate, Katie, found it humorous to watch, I’m sure.
Breakfast, if you could call it that, was French toast that morning. I had yet to discover the amazing thing that is non-stick spray and had taken to frying my French toast and pancakes in a little pool of hot oil. That morning when I flipped, I splattered oil all over myself. The toast was burned and I hated to throw it out, so I sat down at the table with my extra-syrupy plate and steaming coffee. Katie emerged from her bathroom and immediately started a “Friends” DVD. She had every season and liked to play them in the background all the time. I had become hooked within a week of living together. We sat down with our coffee and breakfast and discussed life, religion, our relationships and the awesomeness of God. Usually “Friends” fit somewhere in all the philosophy.
“What are you and Richard doing tonight?” she asked as she finished her coffee and rinsed her mug in the sink.
“He’s amazing, Katie. He knows how much I’ve been missing the club and the kids, so he suggested we volunteer there tonight. I’m so excited to just go play with them!”

* * *

It had been a long day at the bank and I was relieved to pull into the Boys and Girls Club parking lot. I was only slightly surprised to see Richard’s Ford Explorer already there. I hurried inside and received just what I had been missing for the last two months: hugs and smiles from kids of all ages and social standing. I noticed Richard coming over to me and gave him a quick side hug before turning back to the kids. He offered to take my coat up front for me and I quickly obliged. He disappeared and I didn’t see him again until Assembly in the gym.
Every evening, the kids gather in the gym to hear announcements and a run-down on activities in the club that night. Then they choose where they want to go so they have no reason to be roaming around aimlessly. I sat on the back row of the bleachers with some kids and Richard stood behind me. Up front the tech guy, also a Richard, was fiddling around with a laptop and camera. I thought both looked like Richard’s. Hmmm…the girl next to me asked a question and my curiosity was diverted.
It was taking Tech Richard so long to get Assembly started that I decided I better head to the restroom. I turned toward Richard to hop down, just as the lights when down and the song, “Unforgettable,” by Nat King Cole drifted into the gym.
Ah, nuts, I thought. I’ll have to wait.
I turned back to the front and noticed pictures moving across a giant screen.
Huh.
That looks like Heather.
And…that’s me.
And Richard…uh….
My heart started pounding. I turned questioningly to Richard, but his stance was very cop-like. Stone-faced, hands in pockets, his eyes locked on the screen. Throughout the song, pictures of my family, his family and us floated across the screen. Each time Nat sang “unforgettable” my picture was displayed. By the end the teens were whooping and shouting, yelling “Bethany!!!” at me. I was in shock. As the song ended, Richard pulled me off the bleachers and led me in front of the kids. I noticed that workers and parents had drifted in and were beaming in the back. Richard stopped before me and went down on one knee. Thunderous shouting and hooting exploded from all the kids and I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I realized what was happening…and that Richard was holding a ring in his hand…and he was holding my right hand. I subtly shifted so that he had my left hand in his.
Months ago we were told that if we got married, we could have my grandma’s engagement ring. After Richard asked me to marry him and I said yes – to even more screaming – he warned me that he had changed my grandma’s ring a bit. It had been a simple emerald cut diamond with a beget diamond on either side. It was antique and I loved it. He pulled out quite the flashy – HUGE – ring and I was astonished! It was beautiful and fit perfectly and was so unique. I had never seen anything like it. (We still have my grandma’s ring and plan to put a cubic in the empty place and size it for my right hand – someday)
Soon after we sealed our promise to marry with a kiss, the front desk gal presented me with flowers that Richard had brought. The kids rushed all around me, grabbing my hand and oohing and ahhing. The little ones asked if we were married now. The delight I felt hugging all those precious kids and smiling at my intended was unmatched up till then. Soon, Richard whisked me away to his car. He handed me his cell in the parking lot and I questioningly held it up to my ear. My best friend, Jeni, was waiting on the other line. Thus began a long night of squealing and hugging!
After we called everyone we knew and visited my sister (because she didn’t believe me) and my parents (because, you know, they are my parents) we went back to my apartment. Katie had written a sweet note on my mirror and she and I jumped up and down so hard (while Richard was parking the car) that we woke our neighbors.
The jewelry store had given Richard champagne flutes and he had bought pink champagne from a little French café we loved. We toasted by candlelight and spent the evening planning, laughing and sharing. He told me how many times I almost stumbled on the ring, how he asked my dad and how he pulled it all together. I heard most of it, but was distracted by the promising wink of a sparkly diamond surrounded by burnt, splotchy red skin.