Seaside

I sat at Kathy’s kitchen table, my financial class homework spread out before me. Restless and unable to concentrate, I sat back and looked around at her cozy little house. I had been coming here to visit ever since I graduated from Ecola. Even through the years that Joe and I hadn’t talked much, Kathy and I stayed close. She was like another mother to me. (For the record, she still is. We speak on the phone at least once a month, and when Richard and I went to visit her in the first November we were married, she fell in love with him.)
Soon to be mother-in-law? I tested my heart with this thought. Hmmm…still not sure.
I had arrived in Seaside late the night before. Normally I would have gone right to Joe’s house, but something my dad had said held me back. When I talked to my father about possibly moving to Seaside because Joe asked me to, he shook his head and told me that if Joe wanted me, Joe should come to me. It made more sense, really, for me to move to the place I loved and longed to be. Joe had a successful business with his brother and I was just a Starbucks barista. But I knew my dad was right. If Joe wanted me, he could come and get me.
So the night before, I went straight instead of turning onto Joe’s street and went right for Kathy’s. We hugged and laughed and enjoyed our evening together. Joe called and said he would be over sometime the next morning. It was now almost noon and I hadn’t heard from him.
So much for dying to see me.
I knew that I would accomplish nothing with my homework and pulled out my Bible and journal instead. This entire situation just needed to be handed over to the Lord. I felt a constant Joe vs. Richard battle going on in my head and I hated it. Who said I wanted to be in a relationship, anyway?
After reading for a while and journaling, I began to feel a great sense of peace that God would direct me this weekend.
Through the next few days and Joe and I talked and walked the beach, ate out and watched the slideshow of his vacation to Mexico. God really did bring me peace. No matter what happened with Richard, I knew that I was not the woman for Joe. We could talk – really talk – more than either of us could with anyone else. We shared many beliefs and thoughts. But everything else outside of conversation was so forced. I didn’t even feel comfortable enough to play pool with him when he asked. I realized that I had never just relaxed in Joe’s company. It didn’t make sense: we had been so close for years, but I knew that Richard saw the real me more than Joe ever had. Richard and I were instant playmates and Joe and I never had been.
I hate to sum up that weekend so much, but at one point before going to bed, I couldn’t resist and I sent Richard a text message. A few weeks after Richard and I began to hang out together (I refuse to call it dating until after Seaside), he drove a friend to Colorado. We were texting back and forth and I said that things were boring without him around. The night before I left to go home, I lay on Kathy’s guest bed and wrote Richard a similar message in the dark, then went to bed.
Peace. God promises His peace in all situations and I felt nothing but peace about going home.
Richard, back home, watching a movie with a friend, upset about where I was and doubting his earlier confidence in telling me to go, felt his phone start to buzz.
He flipped it open and read the simple message inside:
Seaside is boring without you.
“Got her,” he smiled confidently and showed his friend the message. “She’s coming home!”

Just a few months later, Richard, Heather, Carl, Heather’s mom, my parents and I went to a baseball game. I had finally relaxed into a relationship with Richard and was having the time of my life. He was in Academy for the police department and could only come around on weekends. I wrote him a letter every week that he would read as soon as he got to my apartment on Friday evening for our date. We talked on the phone and shared a verse each week as well. I quickly learned that with this man, what you see is what you get. No pretending, no games. I loved that about him.
We shared a corn dog and he explained baseball to me. For some reason this sport confuses me and it took until this year to really understand what he started to tell me that night about his favorite game.
Anyway, we have a picture of that night and I think it truly expresses how I feel: content, happy, confident, sure of where I was in life.
The next day Richard told me he loved me for the first time. He had never said that to another woman before. I guess he felt exactly the same way when that picture was taken.




This picture sat on the table next to our guestbook at our wedding.