Do I really love Him?

I took some very cute pictures of Liz playing on her slide today. I had every intention of posting them and blogging all about her royal Cuteness this evening. After I put Liz to bed and came upstairs, I decided to first catch up on the blogs I like to read. Angie's (Bring the Rain) stopped me as Angie's blog always does. I would encourage everyone to go read hers if you have a few minutes to yourself. You can click on her blog under my list of blogs. She always encourages. Always inspires. Always makes me see God in a different way. Today as I read her blog I realized something about myself that I don't like one bit. I don't think I love my Lord. And as I write that I want to throw up. Of course I love Him. Oh, but do I LOVE Him? Really, truly adore Him? Do I long for moments with Him? He is available at all times. Do I make myself available to Him? He speaks to me every day through His Word. Do I listen? I often "discuss" with my husband the ways he can show he cares and I ask him how I can better love him. Do I ever do this with my God? Do I love Him as I ask Deech to love me? Do I accept God's love for me? Do I dance with joy before my Savior? Do I really appreciate what that means? How can I not? How can I be so blase about such an all encompassing, all powerful, all loving, all knowing, all forgiving Father?
About a month ago my friend, N, casually mentioned that she has a friend that edits a local magazine. N had mentioned to her that I might like to write an article for her. Only God, my family and Deech have known of my deep longing to write and that I agonize over this desire. That I am in fear of pursuing it in any way. N didn't even know that I write beyond this blog. But God knew and I firmly believe that He has worked this out. I am currently working on an article for this magazine. How amazing is our God? He knows me. He loves me. He longs to bring good and joy and light into my life. What do I do for Him? Who in this relationship deserves the joy and light and good? He does and yet He freely gives and freely loves. I am ashamed at my lack of awe and adoration in His presence.
Another friend of mine and her husband have been trying to have a baby for years. YEARS. I have only known her for 4 and I have been praying consistently for this miracle to happen for her. Last week, she announced that she is having a baby this July. God hears! He listens and answers! God is good. So good. All the time. Oh my sweet Savior and Lord, may I love you with every breath, every move, every thought. May You be praised all the time.