Something Beautiful

I mentioned that we were going to take a short trip last weekend, and, Praise God, it didn't work out.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still so very anxious to see my dear friend and meet her beautiful son and just soak in her little family. I'm just so thankful I was able to be home with my mom this weekend.
(What do you say, Denise? Shall we sneak away (with the littles) for a Seattle Sleep over?)
Before the trip was cancelled, my friend and I were talking about all the fun we would have. We talked over sleeping arrangements and such. Then her voice became a little sheepish and she said, "Oh. We don't have a tv. Is that ok? I know you guys like the tv on in the background."
My heart skipped a beat and I let out a nervous laugh.
"No! I love that you don't have a tv! Totally fine!" (truth)
Then the rambling began.
"I just use the tv for Pandora, anyway." (half-truth)
"I don't like tv.(hmmm...not such a true statement)"
"I hardly watch it when Mr isn't around." (wait. did I just lie?) Oh, I'm blushing.
The conversation, while quick and harmless, stuck around with me for days. Eating at me.
I hate that we are tv people.
I have had cable for my entire life (except the years that I lived on my own).
Sometimes I can't have a conversation without mentionioning soemthing I saw on tv.
And I hate that.
It's something that's been gnawing at me for years. I can make any excuse I want, but the truth is, there is nothing about tv that I can't live without. Nothing.
Family time? Let's play a game.
Down time? Let's read a book.
Entertainment? Let's find an adventure.
I've been praying for God to open my eyes to my children and how He wants me to raise them and He's been answering.
Boy has He been answering.
God is good and gives me discpiline and training in doses, then as my heart is finally melting and changing, He hits me with all of it and I have no choice but to commint to the change.
I love that.
I read a blog this week that made me ashamed of my tv watching and phone use. I was already bothered by it, but now I'm flat out ashamed. How dare I choose to have children, then miss out on their life and rob them of an available mother?
How dare I let them think that anything happening on tv or on my phone, blog or facebook is more important, in any way, than they are?
How dare I?
I dared and now God has said, "Enough."
I'm so thankful.
This verse just hits me over and over:
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
My life is Something Beautiful to be cherished, admired, and lived.
Not something to stumble through as I update my status and read through worthless news articles. I truly have been stone cold in my daily life. I might as well not exsist at all if only from behind a screen.

This weekend we focused on our kids and tried to create some fun memories for them. A campfire in the back was such a simple and wonderful way to spend time together. After we put the gals to bed, Mr and I just sat and watched the fire for another hour or so. I told him, "I would rather sit out here with you than watch tv with you any day."

I would also like to introduce you to a new member of our family. I'm not sure what to call her, but she has become important to us:

This bike has become a way for us to get around town, to spend time together, to save money, to enjoy life, to exercise this body God has blessed me with. Soon Boo will have a place on the bike as well, but until she's old enough, the older girls and I have been leaving Boo with Daddy and taking off for an hour after dinner. We are having the best conversations (I now know that Little's favorite flower is the wishing flower (dandelion) and that the cows on the farm down the road find Fo Bear fascinating (and the feeling is mutual).
My legs are sore and my heart is full.
We're turning off the tv (except to cheer for the Mariners, of course)...
turning on some music for dancing (Mr and the girls surprised me with a cd the other day)...
And soaking up this life.
And it is truly Something Beautiful