I've noticed with increasing dismay that I am pulling deeper and deeper into myself. Deeper into only caring about my family's needs (which are all met) and forgetting about countless others who are in desperate need. While I splurge on Dutch Bros because I "need" the pick me up, another mother is somewhere, alone and crying into her pillow because she has no idea how to put food on the table tomorrow.
While I worry that we might only be able to afford bikes for the girls this Christmas, a couple is heartbroken that they can afford nothing for their children for Christmas. While I spend some quiet time during the day blissfully playing on the computer and pinning away my hopes for bigger and better on pinterest, some mom is watching her children play at a day shelter because she has no where to go when it's cold outside. Her bigger and better would be a simple roof over her family's heads. I wrote this post last February and through the entire year, I still have not made the changes my heart desperately wants to.
Lord, I so desperately want to be, not only mindful of needs around me, but purposeful in being your tool to lend a hand. Please, Lord, change my heart.
"Teach me to live what You say.
Make me a child who'll obey.
Holy in all that I do,
May I bring glory to You."
Friday, February 4, 2011
Unsure
This week has been a whirlwind for the girls and me. I almost wished we were back in the "stuck at home" days. Little Miss had her first Dentist appointment, I had my first since I was pregnant with Fo. We had two separate Bible studies, two separate big shopping trips (necessary ones), some things to drop off and pick up. Not a lot once I write it down, but the timing and all the driving of the last week has been hectic. Lots of Happy Meals consumed for lunch this week. Lots of missed naps and such. And still we have had nice family dinners and have most laundry clean and put away (huge around here - we live out of baskets!) and the house is clean.
Today we have nothing planned and the girls and I are still in jammies! Hoorah!
The other day while driving around, we were at a stop light and Little Miss yelled, "Mommy, that man is praying!"
I craned my neck to see what her little eyes had found.
It took me a while, but I found him. A man sitting near the street corner, bundled up, elbows on knees, head down. Coffee cup warming his hands.
Cardboard sign resting next to him on the ground:
"Out of work. Need help with rent."
I don't know about you, but I avoid eye contact with those begging on corners. Not because I feel above them or want to pretend there aren't people in need.
But because I have no idea how to look in their eyes when I don't have money on me to give.
And because if I did, I don't know if it's really going for rent.
I had an idea to make up little bags full of gift cards to fast food places, coffee houses, maybe even a hotel for the night, etc so that I could hand them out and be able to look into the eyes of those so desperate for help.
But, looking at this man, and his sign, nothing in my "bag" would help. He needs rent.
And the cynical side of me thinks, "Or so he says."
I'm in a quandary here. Do you know that God's ways are perfect? That He has laws in place so that no one would ever go hungry?
Leviticus 19:9,10 9 “‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. 10 Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the LORD your God."
He intended for those who were poor to freely go and glean from another's field. So how does that apply now? I have no field. Or do I?
This man on the corner had no idea I was watching him. No idea my heart was heavy. That I had no idea how to help him. Even now, I shouldn't be so confused, but I am. I have headlines running through my head about those who beg for money only to drink or go home to their nice homes and pocket it. Those that attack women who try to help.
The poor will always be with us and I could be him with the slightest change in my life.
I am here to share what God has blessed me with and at times I'm really at a loss with how to do that practically.
Am I alone here? Anyone have ideas?
1 comment:
So relevant to my week! On top of seeing needy people every where we go, we were discussing this in our Bible Study. We're studying James and in Chapter two it is talking about judgement and faith/deeds. I forget which verse (it's in the middle), but I know it says "Mercy triumphs over judgement." I couldn't help but be convicted! I always think the same thing-the homeless guy drinking starbucks, or the grandma smoking and asking for money for her grandkids. I, like you, never carry cash and any food I have in my car is not usually helpful by itself. I have also thought of keeping PB and crackers, or something like that in my car to hand out to needy people, but have yet to act on it. Thankfully, we have some great organizations which are easier to work into the budget and really do help people's spiritual and physical needs! Thanks for the reminder!
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