Backwards

"7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." James 4:7-10

I sat at my kitchen table this morning, reading some verse cards I've written out over the years, and came upon this one. Submit to God? Sure. I can do that. Resist the devil? Always a good plan. Makes sense. Draw near to God? Of course.
I skim the next part. Then...
Be miserable?
Mourn and weep?
Turn laughter into mourning?
What?
Isn't Christianity supposed to be about joy and peace and warm fuzzy feelings? Aren't I supposed to be happy? Doesn't God want me happy?
And therein lies the problem. I feel like I need to whisper this:
I don't believe God wants me to be happy.
There I said it.
I don't believe God's intention is for any of us to be happy.
Let me explain.
I do believe God cares. I know He delights in us. The same way I want my children to have a full life, He wants that for us.
But I don't believe His every move and every thought is for our happiness.
I believe our every move and every thought should be for His glory.
Sometimes I (again, I feel the need to whisper) think God's a little demanding. A little conceited, ya know?
And then it hits me: He is God.
He. Is. God.
All that matters is Him.
He holds the world together.
He created everything I have and know.
He understands and knows outerspace. The farthest reaches of the heavens belong to Him. Were created by Him. Are held together and understood and designed by Him.
He. Is. God.
And He loves me, yes. Wants His best for me, yes. Expects me to remember my place before Him, yes.
Yes it seems backwards to mourn and weep and be miserable in light of Him.
But if I could truly understand who HE is and who I am (or am not in comparison),
If I could truly, rightly understand and live humbly,
wouldn't I weep before Him?
Our Lord is amazing beyond words and comprehension.
Did you catch the last part?
"Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you."
HE will exalt Me?
Now that is the truly backwards part.