Stuck like a Turtle

I have mentioned how big and uncomfortable I am this pregnancy enough times that you get the idea. I won't miss that part. But, being this big has given me enough funny moments to make it worthwhile.
Such as the time:
I was sitting on the couch and couldn't find my phone anywhere and Mr. Man called it for me. I heard the muffled ring immediately because my phone was UNDER MY BIG BELLY - blocked from my view!

A woman at church commented that I must be about ready to pop. I answered sweetly that I still had 2 months, to which she replied, "Well it sure doesn't look it!". I then proceeded to introduce myself and try not to chuckle at her blatant honesty!

Walking into the grocery store the other day, a man was about to walk by me in the other direction and he made a big show of stepping aside and backing up against the wall. I guess he was afraid I needed to swallow a man to catch the horse...?

A salesman made a comment that I must be ready to pop any day, I smiled and said I had two months left to which he replied (staring wide-eyed at my belly), "Oh! Twins!" Sigh. Wrong again.

I have tried to roll over in a bed a few times and paused too long on my back and become stuck. Stuck like a turtle turned upside down on its shell. Mr. Man and I have had far too many laughs at my ridiculous efforts to roll over. The trick is to let the momentum carry me all the way over...

Numerous people (women especially) like to smile and say, "My guess is that baby is due any day. Am I right?" Wink, wink and nudge, nudge. When I answer with my actual due date, I get horrified glances quickly (but far too late) covered up with strained, polite, disbelieving smiles. It's kinda fun.

While walking through a parking lot with the girls yesterday, I heard an elderly woman's voice behind me say, "Wow, that baby's sure dropped on you, hasn't he?" I took a breath and turned to hear all of her seasoned tips and advice and wives tales. I am having a boy. Doesn't matter what up close and personal weekly ultrasounds say. It's a boy because my tummy is low.

Little Miss constantly hugs me and declares, "I just looooove your big belly!" and uses my belly to help her describe the size of things. "My baby needs to be cleaned off...she jumped in a mud puddle...it was as big, as big...as big as your belly!"

And my favorite little moment. My OB, who is a mother of triplets, looked at my chart yesterday, then me and sadly said, "I feel so bad for you and your belly." Then she sat with me during my non-stress test and chatted for 20ish minutes about her memories of getting big with her triplets. Funny thing about that-she was talking to me like I can relate and we were on the same big belly level.

I really love being pregnant. I do. I love that this little one is about to join our family. I don't love my size or weird little (or not so little) condition. But, she will be well worth it in the end. Even all of those times I've been stuck like a turtle.