...you are alone in the kitchen with the last scrumtious chocolate chip butterscotch cookie from the cookie jar and, when you hear your young ones running toward you from the other room, you cram said cookie into your mouth as fast as you can and pretend to be deep in thought so they won't talk to you while you choke it down.
...you are pouring the last bit of your favorite cereal into your bowl and your toddler gives you doe eyes for it and you mutter something in your sweetest, most tolerant voice about the baby needing it as you start to spoon it into your own mouth. The toddler gets raisin bran.
...you scold your toddler for saying "darnit" then turn around and use that same word, in her presense, without shame or hesitation about 5 times in the next 30 minutes.
...you aren't in the mood to make dinner and you and hubby have errands to run, so you make "dinner in the car!!!" sound like the most exciting thing ever...when really, it's just forcing them into their carseats for a few hours with pb&j sandwhiches. They're fooled by the pitch and octive of your voice as you describe this and now they frequently request meals "in the car!!!" You use this misunderstanding to your advantage. Often.
...your toddler is concerned when you have to use the restroom for the 5th time in a 20 minute period while prepping to go on a walk and shouts, "you're going to pee the baby out!!!" You then launch into far too much detail for a 3 year old mind about amniotic fluid and such things. You're still trying to work the glazed look out of her eyes.
...you are busy prepping dinner and putting groceries away when the dog rubs up against your leg. Not having time for the mangy mutt's affections, you kick her aside only to realize the dog is just now entering the kitchen and the wailing lump on the floor at your feet is your darling youngest daughter.
3 comments:
You've been busy! LOL! Thanks for posting! Love it. Oh, and been there on a few of those and could add some real gems too!
You are hilarious!!!! Ditto except preggo stuff. :) Love mommy world!
This post is awesome! I'm cracking up just picturing all this stuff happening in your life. So funny.
Meanwhile, I explained the kid-friendly version of circumcision to my 5 yr old daughter today and a few minutes later saw her perform an acrobatic move and then declare, "I like to call that move 'The Circumcision'!" When that one pops out in front of the grandparents, I'm sure I'll come across as the best mother ever. ;)
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