I have mentioned (many times) that I feel a bit...lost. I finally found the right description while I was talking to Dic yesterday:
"It's like the end credits should have rolled for me. All my attainable dreams have come true and now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."
Ever feel that way?
Most stories end with the accomplishment of the hero or heroine's dreams. You know the story doesn't technically end there, but that's when the film stops rolling and the writers stop writing. The lights come back on and the theater empties out.
I know the daily grind with these pumpkins is of utmost importance. Yet the simple routine feels like nothing is getting accomplished, ya know?
It's like when we set out to be debt free, I told Dic that the hardest part would be the 30 days between paychecks. Once every thirty days we would chip away at the debt. The rest of the time would feel like we were doing nothing. But now, more than a year later we are above and beyond where we thought we would be.
I know that this is just life. I know there are greater things to strive for, study and do. God is limitless - there is so much to learn about Him, I should never grow weary. But I do.
What is it in us that makes us want more?
I don't even know where to begin.
My mind goes crazy with possibilities:
Sell everything and buy that cheap, 900 sq ft house. Live a different life!
Write, write, write! Be prepared if an opportunity to be published presents itself!
Start a business!
Learn to sew! Make things! Be crafty!
Write schedules! Be organized!
How any of this will give me purpose, I'm not sure.
Just thoughts today. So tell me, what do you do after all your (realistic) dreams have come true?
2 comments:
I've never thought of it that way, but I think that's why I feel a glimmer of fear as my "stay-at-home-mom" dream becomes closer and closer to being my reality. What's next? For me, it seems like I have to intersperse my "big" goals with smaller ones. Having those smaller successes keeps me from losing steam.
Oh, and too bad you live so far away! There is a sewing/fabric store in Middleton that offers some neat classes...including a "learn to use your sewing machine" class. Maybe you could make a day trip of it and leave your kiddos with me!?
I think about this kind of stuff too. I recently heard this quote: "Pursue your calling, not your potential." So I know that there are lots of things I COULD be doing, but I find myself really thinking about what God is CALLING me to do. Just food for thought...
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