"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 141:3
Often my mouth runs away with me. I have every intention of walking into a situation as the listener and leave the talker. My mouth opens and gushes forth with such ferocious intensity that I struggle against the tide to get it shut again. It's a problem I've always had.
It often gets me into trouble and makes me sick to my stomach.
I want to listen. I want to show I care. I do care. After I've left the presence of a friend, I still have so many questions and have so much interest in them that I spend hours yelling at myself for not listening to what they had to say. I can't call and get the information I was first seeking because my mouth seems to disagree with my mind and heart and takes off again.
"We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep in his whole body in check." James 3:2
God has so much to say about communication and the ability to control our speech in His Holy Word. I'm going through an incredible Bible study and this week we focused entirely on what God teaches us about communication. My heart is heavy with memories of people I have lashed to pieces with my words.
Lately I've been wondering at this little blog of mine. It is such a refuge for me and I love to connect with you on the other side of that screen. We have so much to share with one another. It is a safe place where if I say the wrong thing, I can quickly erase it or change the wording. No one has to know.
Same goes with texting. My husband and I are texting fools. However, this world of emails, Facebook, blogging and texting has begun to change me in ways I know aren't OK. I no longer feel comfortable talking on the phone. I even squirm around a bit in face to face conversations. I have replaced the warmth of hugs for symbols on a keyboard. I have replaced meaningful conversations for ones that are easier to type on my cell phone.
It's easier this way.
It's so empty this way.
I think this world has its place. As an addition to or alongside real relationships.
Perhaps I'm just lonely. I'm in a completely natural stage of life where runny little noses keep me inside and in solitude much of the time.
It won't last forever and I will miss my little ones when they are grown.
But will I survive it? How can I come out the other side as a person who loves and listens and hugs? How can I minister to others when I've only been texting and typing for years? Can a person really survive on keyboard relationships alone?
Just thoughts I am having today.
And as for this world being safer and easier? Not true it turns out. I still make mistakes and hurt people with my tongue. It seems no matter how hard I pray the words of Psalm 141:3, little soldiers of fire escape and I hurt those I love. Whether I intend to or not is not the issue. It's whether I succeed in stopping what I say before I say it. Once it's out there, it can never be retracted. And unfortunately, in cyberspace, it's even easier to research and recall.
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21
3 comments:
I have the same problem. So hard to control our tongues. I want to be that listener but often fail. Praying for you! Love ya
Very good. Wise words. I also read recently about this very subject, we are 'connected' with hundreds online, but still lonely and lacking in person-to-person, face to precious face, IRL hugging relationships! Balance. And build OFFline relationships. Love you girl. Take care. xoxo
Totally get where you're at on this one. Texting, blogging, tweeting, and all that can be a great way to connect with others, but sometimes those things are just poor substitutes for real relationships.
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