Trying Not To Panic

Pregnancy, while the most amazing, thrilling experience I have ever had, is very tough for me emotionally. My mom lost four babies (for various reasons) after me. She didn't miscarry, she carried these babies, birthed three of them...held one in her arms as he took his last breaths. Our family has been through serious stuff loss-wise. My entire life I wondered if the baby loss thing was going to be hereditary. When I had my first and then second miscarriages, I was sure I had been "blessed" with the gene. But Raegan came, healthy, happy and wonderful and I am so grateful for her. This pregnancy has been picture perfect so far and I have had no real concerns. Until today.
I had my 29 week check-up and really, everything is fine. Notice I named this post "trying not to panic" because there is no reason to. My doctor was listening to the heartbeat (great as usual) and measuring me. Two weeks ago, at 27 weeks, I measured 29 1/2...still normal range. My mom was with me on that visit and was excited because she is convinced I am further along then I am. For some reason a dating ultrasound done in the first trimester is less believable to her than measuring tape on my belly...hmmmm.
Anyway, I figured this week I would measure 31 1/2 weeks and was laughing with the doctor about how huge I feel and how huge my mom and sister think I am. She laughed and started to roll up the tape, then stopped herself.
"Wait!" she said, indicating I should stay lying down and whipping out the tape again. "You are huge."
Gee, thanks, Doc. I am now measuring 34 weeks and am only 29. So we have to check things out with an ultrasound next week. I might be Internet absent until then because I know I will freak myself out googling and reading horror stories. I know being big is nothing to really worry about. Could be extra fluid...could be I am having a huge baby...which is a concern because, after all, I am the one pushing.
Anyway. Just had to get it out. The funny thing is, now that I've written a blog about it, it seems kind of silly. So I'm having a monster of a baby...big deal! Right? See how calm I'm being? Sigh.
In other news, Richard and I recently decided we're not sure about the name we've picked for our baby. He said my tummy doesn't look like a ******, and I found out a celebrity has a daughter with the same name. I'm not huge on mimicking celebrities. So, any fabulous girl name ideas? We are positive of what the middle name will be, but just not sure about the first. I am huge on names meaning something. All through scripture, there are explanations given behind names and I love that. Raegan's name means: "little ruler" and I love that because Richard's name means "powerful ruler". Now if only we could find a feminine name that means "little house of unripened figs" ...we would have a set (my name means house of unripened figs if any of you didn't catch that).
Well, I have a book to read while the baby naps and Richard slaves away on the lawn. I would feel evil about that, but I cleaned the kitchen and living room and, I am, after all, having a crisis pregnancy ;)

We have only been able to use our wonderful pool once. Our set-up is nice: bench for me so I can soak my feet, a perfect size pool for Raegan with her sandbox nearby. But it has been raining tons this month! It's been nice since I haven't had to turn on the air conditioning. The fresh summer rain fragrance floats through my open windows most days and I am not looking forward to the day when I have to turn to air conditioning (it's usually in the 100s here during the summer). But I am looking forward to a lot more time spent in the backyard.

Raegan has begun to eat more meals at her little table. She loves it! I do too, until she starts dumping everything on the floor and saying "uh-oh!" afterwards. Grrrr...that's why she only gets to eat non-messy food at her table.

My wonderful husband. Due to all the rain and a crazy work schedule this month, he hasn't been able to mow the lawn in a while. I would gladly do it, but the grass is so high that the bag needs to be emptied every few feet and I can't get the mower started again without wrenching my belly and back. Plus, our backyard slants downward and I usually end up ramming the fence! I do mow the front, though. The neighbors eyeball us whenever Richard comes out to start the mower and hand it off to his pregnant wife before heading back indoors. If only they could see all the work he does out back and know how badly I love mowing the lawn. Fortunately, Richard doesn't care much what others think of him so he gives in to my desire to mow out front.